By Jessica Robison
Some people are writers. Some people are cool. Then there are the elite few that manage to write and be cool at the same time. Luckily, I’m one of the latter. Most of us are not born that way, but with a few tips and a lot of practice this skillset can be learned. Let me be clear: you too can be a cool writer.
1. The gear: The cool kids wear sunglasses at night. Cool
writers wear sunglasses while writing, even while in dark rooms, and
especially at night.
2. The locale: Most writers default to coffee shops to focus and
get a dose of caffeine. Lame. If you want to be a cool writer, take
that notebook or laptop and head to a bar with good dance music. Don’t
forget your sunglasses.
3. The groupies: Ditch your old friends and fellow-writers. If you
want to be cool, you have to work for it. Surround yourself with people
significantly younger than you are who don’t make much sense. It’s a
plus if they are good-looking.
4. The lines: If you’re truly going to follow your dream to be a
cool writer, you have to talk the talk. Integrate any of the following
phrases into conversation: “The other night while I was writing,” or “My
writing group said,” or even, “Oh, that’s my agent on the phone. I’d
better take this.” Constantly bragging to everyone you know is sure to
impress them with your overwhelming coolness. And men, ladies love
5. The beverage: Put aside those lattes and protein shakes. Cool
writers are all heavy alcohol drinkers. So brush off that flask, pull
out that bottle, and forget moderation!
I hope these systematic tips help those of you who are interested in
becoming cool writers. It’s not for everyone, since it’s such a
specialized calling, but if you’re feeling that tug of desire in your
heart–that small voice saying, “I want that”–then this blog is for
You’re welcome and Cheers!