By Kimberly Johnson
The other day, at lunch, a friend of mine
asked me how to write an obituary. We were eating at McAlister’s in Forest
Acres. The place was pretty crowded and I wasn’t sure I heard him clearly. He
repeated it and chewed on his club sandwich cautiously. In a split second, a couple thoughts flashed
through my mind: “(a) he must be really grief-stricken, and (b) why did he ask me?” To me, an obituary is a highly personal
thing. I had to write one for my aunt, for my father and for my grandmother. So,
after sipping some lemonade, I said: “Just write from the heart. The rest will come
to you.” My friend slightly persisted, “I want a Homegoing service that
reflects the memory of my momma, not the staid stuff from the funeral home. I
want the words to mean something.”
Back at work, I stared at my computer screen.
Another thought entered my mind: Is there a formal way to write an obituary? That’s
a heavy question. And I narrowed my search and found out, yes. Definition: An obituary is a news
article that reports the person’s death, personal information and funeral
information. Or, it can be the life story of the deceased in the funeral
program. Text/layout and design: There
are websites that provide templates. There are websites that restate what the
funeral home staff explains. There are websites that provide instructions. Here’s
one I liked: “Show, rather than tell. Show that the person was charitable by
actual examples. Show with interesting stories, rather than telling with just
dry facts.” (www. obituaryguide.com) Cultural
notes: My friend wants a Homegoing Service. It’s a phrase used in the
African American community to celebrate the life and achievements of the
deceased.
Alana Baranick, a newspaper obituary writer
echoes the same sentiment I encountered, and soon my friend will face: “Summing
up a life is an awesome responsibility.”
I used to write obituaries for my local hometown newspaper. It was my first real job, not including cashiering at the P&C supermarket. In those days, the newspaper wrote the obituary. The benefit of that was all important information was included -- date and place of birth, date of death, survivors. Date of the funeral. Career of the deceased. These days, with family members writing the obituaries, they often leave out one of the key elements.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed writing the basic facts and then adding some interesting points at the end.